DRAWING THE BREATH
Recently I was challenged to “draw my breath” ... I didn’t know how to do this but over the course of 3 weeks I wrestled, pondered and asked questions about my breath.
The first drawing I did was with eyes closed, allowing the pencil to go where it willed as I listened to my inhale, then exhale. When I opened my eyes all I could see is a strange looking fish with a large ominous mouth which only made me think of a hungry perinea, leaving me feeling unsettled.
The second drawing started with big red curves representing the stress I felt in the moment, feeling out of control from not knowing how to draw my breath. I didn’t know what I was supposed to be doing, what medium to use, the “perceived” rules or expected outcome. The challenge was to simply “draw your breath.” But I changed color to blue and allowed my hand to continue pushing the pencil as curves became softer, gentler, calmer, “blue” as if paying attention to my breath and engaging my whole body allowed me to center and breathe deep, exhaling the anxiety I felt when I first started with wild red curves but ending with almost flatline calming blue curves.
Then... after days of wrestling, thinking, pondering, praying I saw a picture of my breath; it was a picture of wind unfurling through the air so I dared to paint what I was seeing. When I allow stress and worry and control to dominate my heart and mind, my breath is shallow, constricting and dark which doesn’t allow the full unfurling into the air. But when I pause and remember that every breath I breathe is a gift and each encounter and circumstance in my life is a gift, I can give thanks and I realize that all that God’s given me can be gifted to the world around me and I can breathe deeper which gives me strength and freedom which eventually leads to a deeper experience of “life” which I intern can give to others - like the pearls in the painting being released, sharing their beauty with the world. So it is with all of us. God gave us breath and our very breath and existence impacts the world around us. We alone get to choose the level of impact. So when we breathe deep and accept all that comes our way as a gift, we in turn are able to be a gift to those around us.
After painting this I was reading, Breath for the Bones which reminded me that the Greek definition of Spirit is breath or wind. Perhaps listening to our breath and paying attention to how we are impacting those around us would cause us to pause, to breathe deeper and see more beauty and maybe even see how we can make the world a better place. After all we’ve all been given breath for a divine purpose that’s beyond our control and it’s the unseen things - breath, wind, and Spirit - that have the power to transform the world around us and yet we control none of these things! Therefore, why not thank the Maker of our breath every day and give the gifts He’s given to those who are wanting to experience new life, movement of the wind and the power of the Spirit.
May every breath we breathe give testimony to His greatness.
April Near, Mixed Media, Oil, Sculpture
